Inside you, there are two Middle Earthian races: A graceful, wise elf and a shaggy, mannerless dwarf who loves to eat turkey legs right off of the bone.
Dueling for their full attention in the sun, a woman must balance their fair share of grace and the indignation of being a behemoth at the buffet table. Torn between beauty and comfort, we must decide each day who we want to be. Are we Lady Galadriel? Mystifying, gorgeous, and bewildering to the realms of Men. Or are we Gimli? Squat, loud, voracious, and a tad bit blunt.
Alas, the duality of womanhood persists.
Lucky for us, we have the ability to be both graceful and stout, and that's the greatest wonder of femininity! So next time you do a Lord of the Rings marathon (because we all know it's a matter of time before you get the Middle Earth itch again), appreciate all characters for their good and bad qualities. Because we have more in common with the commoners than we ever thought, yet in our souls we can be just like the greatest of Elven witches ever to grace Lothlórien.